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White Dad Problems: Episodes

<p>D.M. has officially surrender to the Nothing and bought a mini-van. RIP DM Engel’s Dignity: 1975-2015.</p>
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<p>Matt learns of the epic hero/villain known as “Nakekins Skywalker.”</p>
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<p>And Todd be lightin’ up mechs as an old man gamer!</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail ...
<div><font><span>Karma’s getting back at Todd by giving pneumonia to his daughter. The dads want to go to Indiana but now no one will serve them at a restaurant.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Wal-Mart has killed small town America. No matter. Amazon ...
<p>At the Jay house, Todd’s daugher comes to the hard realization as to what “dog years” means - and begs something of the family pet she would never beg of her Dad.</p>
<p>As for Matt, he is now a regular at “MotherCluckers” and really wants either no agency or total agency over his gustatory ...
<p>On this episode we learn the future of Dave’s testicles, and it doesn’t look good.</p>
<p>Todd decides to make a last trip to the Jelly Belly factory.</p>
<p>Matt decides to make art from Rubik’s cubes, and the Dads want their damned bottomless onion rings.</p>
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<p>Then the Dads turn ...
<p>Dave and Kelly shop at odd hours of the night, and random packages arrive at all hours of the day.</p>
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<p>Dave can leave his house without being scene… could come in handy.</p>
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<p>Every seen a naked, masturbating, or pooping person in the city? These Dads have.</p>
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<p>And ...
<p>“Todd Gets a Physical” is one of our favorite updates ever - give a listen!</p>
<p>This week, Matt drinks beer in a grocery store and now wants to drink beer everywhere, like the cool dads (and alcoholics) do.</p>
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<p>D.M. brings his twin toddlers to live theatre - what could possibly go ...
<p>Todd has plans for an empty jelly bean factory in Wisconsin. On his way there, he’ll use his new iPhone holder that plugs into his useless CD slot.</p>
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<p>Matt and Todd are texting monsters.</p>
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<p>D.M. found <em>Life Itself </em>difficult to watch. This turns into D.M.’s Mike ...
<p>Todd tries to recall if we were as big of dicks in Jr. High s current Jr. High kids. (Spoiler: Yes.)  The Dads realize the world now has no outdoors, bikes are a thing of the past, and no one has to share porn.</p>
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<p>D.M. is walking down the hall and he feels something fall.  Then, many ...
<p>Matt’s late, probably doing a d*ck stand with a jar of beef au jus. Todd and D.M. discuss a former porn star who makes YouTube dollars showing toys to kids.</p>
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<p>D.M. has to eat an entire pizza to hide the evidence that he wanted two slices of pizza.</p>
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<p>Todd is considers purchasing ...
<p>Todd’s children have no table manners, and he can see that now because he has new glasses for the first time since Britney Spears was still a naughty schoolgirl.</p>
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<p>Matt goes broasted and is never going back.</p>
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<p>And D.M.’s wife has had it with humiliating him by shovelling ...
<p>Everyone at D.M.’s job thinks he has a cold…or throat cancer. Little do they know he’s moonlighting as bluesman Cole Slaw Walker. </p>
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<p>Todd’s getting drunk on Sam’s Club sangria. It’s Spanish. Or “Spanish”. </p>
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<p>Dig a hole in Brooklyn and you’ll just get dirty…and ...
<p>Welcome to a very special minisode of WDP that will throw you into an existential crisis. The Dads are getting old and don’t want to die, but they’re going to, relatively soon.</p>
<p>Have a great weekend.</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM ...
<div><font><span>Update time - in one of his trademark fits of pique, Matt kills a guy at a musical.  Then he gets shot by a cop in a parking garage. Okay, that’s slightly exaggerated.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>And at Todd’s house - INCESSANT ...
<p>What a surprise, D.M.’s missing again…</p>
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<p>Matt buys a computer on Amazon because it was time for his current piece of technology to break.</p>
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<p>Matt then goes to the Lesbian/Swedish section of Chicago for Mexican/Korean fair.</p>
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<p>The dads discuss broasting…deep ...
<p>Everybody is sledding, and Viva has a need for speed, but can Matt find a f@#$ing sled anywhere in greater Chicagoland?</p>
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<p>Todd’s 3rd grade daughter is in AP Trigonometry and no one can stop it.</p>
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<p>And DM is trapped in a snowed in house all weekend with two toddlers, no wife, ...
<p>Lots more hate this week from our listeners on the voice mail! Hooray!</p>
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<p>Comics are dead, but Marvel will live forever on screen. DC Comics might die, though.</p>
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<p>Just like Ray Charles’ or Johnny Cash’s dad might have said, “The wrong pigeon died.” He would be right, ...
<div><font><span>Magneto and Picard eat horrible East Coast hot dogs.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>“Polock Johnny’s”  this is a thing?  Jesus, Baltimore. You don’t even spell it right.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Nikki ...
<div><font><span>Enjoy an aborton of cabbage at Kentucky Fried Chicken.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Todd starts working out, and his favorite exercise is named after a seed catalog.  And the Dads wonder if a stair machine at the gym is just too much ...
<p>So much happening on page one these days! Monday morning hate calls from our favorite listeners, more bathtub drunk dials about 80’s reincarnation movies, and more!</p>
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<p>Taxes on Amazon? Goddamazon!</p>
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<p>Weird state laws!</p>
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<p>And a listener sends us a Swedish genital ...
<div><font><span>You’ve earned a Bonus!</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>One of Dave’s daughters hates winter, and all the Dads hate Janeane Garofalo.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>We’ve got voice ...
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