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White Dad Problems: Episodes

<p>Matt’s late, probably doing a d*ck stand with a jar of beef au jus. Todd and D.M. discuss a former porn star who makes YouTube dollars showing toys to kids.</p>
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<p>D.M. has to eat an entire pizza to hide the evidence that he wanted two slices of pizza.</p>
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<p>Todd is considers purchasing ...
<p>Todd’s children have no table manners, and he can see that now because he has new glasses for the first time since Britney Spears was still a naughty schoolgirl.</p>
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<p>Matt goes broasted and is never going back.</p>
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<p>And D.M.’s wife has had it with humiliating him by shovelling ...
<p>Everyone at D.M.’s job thinks he has a cold…or throat cancer. Little do they know he’s moonlighting as bluesman Cole Slaw Walker. </p>
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<p>Todd’s getting drunk on Sam’s Club sangria. It’s Spanish. Or “Spanish”. </p>
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<p>Dig a hole in Brooklyn and you’ll just get dirty…and ...
<p>Welcome to a very special minisode of WDP that will throw you into an existential crisis. The Dads are getting old and don’t want to die, but they’re going to, relatively soon.</p>
<p>Have a great weekend.</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM ...
<div><font><span>Update time - in one of his trademark fits of pique, Matt kills a guy at a musical.  Then he gets shot by a cop in a parking garage. Okay, that’s slightly exaggerated.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>And at Todd’s house - INCESSANT ...
<p>What a surprise, D.M.’s missing again…</p>
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<p>Matt buys a computer on Amazon because it was time for his current piece of technology to break.</p>
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<p>Matt then goes to the Lesbian/Swedish section of Chicago for Mexican/Korean fair.</p>
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<p>The dads discuss broasting…deep ...
<p>Everybody is sledding, and Viva has a need for speed, but can Matt find a f@#$ing sled anywhere in greater Chicagoland?</p>
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<p>Todd’s 3rd grade daughter is in AP Trigonometry and no one can stop it.</p>
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<p>And DM is trapped in a snowed in house all weekend with two toddlers, no wife, ...
<p>Lots more hate this week from our listeners on the voice mail! Hooray!</p>
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<p>Comics are dead, but Marvel will live forever on screen. DC Comics might die, though.</p>
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<p>Just like Ray Charles’ or Johnny Cash’s dad might have said, “The wrong pigeon died.” He would be right, ...
<div><font><span>Magneto and Picard eat horrible East Coast hot dogs.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>“Polock Johnny’s”  this is a thing?  Jesus, Baltimore. You don’t even spell it right.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Nikki ...
<div><font><span>Enjoy an aborton of cabbage at Kentucky Fried Chicken.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Todd starts working out, and his favorite exercise is named after a seed catalog.  And the Dads wonder if a stair machine at the gym is just too much ...
<p>So much happening on page one these days! Monday morning hate calls from our favorite listeners, more bathtub drunk dials about 80’s reincarnation movies, and more!</p>
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<p>Taxes on Amazon? Goddamazon!</p>
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<p>Weird state laws!</p>
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<p>And a listener sends us a Swedish genital ...
<div><font><span>You’ve earned a Bonus!</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>One of Dave’s daughters hates winter, and all the Dads hate Janeane Garofalo.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>It’s penis, penis, penis, penis, penis all day long at the Rocco house.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>D.M. is still being called the office kitchen pirate of Syracuse, and he also threw his neck out sleeping. Is scrote chum the answer?</span></font></div>
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<p>Steamed vagina? Sounds like a delightful dim sum.</p>
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<p>“The Flying Polack” curses our nation’s tall ships.</p>
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<p>Angry callers!</p>
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<p>Remember Transformers? Remember Megatron’s wang?</p>
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<p>Measles - stop causing it, assholes.</p>
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<div><font><span>Triple Cheeseburgers?  That’s triple the pleasure!</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>This week on Bonus, the Dads talk “Dairy Queen”, the only major chain that regularly goes out of business…. but why are there none in Syracuse? ...
<div><font><span>Todd tries to be a winner at the game of life. His daughter collects babies.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Matt tries to be a winner at the game of Lego Terror Drome, but he resorts to superglue. And Viva stages the great GI Joe/Cobra ...
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<p><font color="#000000"><font><font size="2">On this episode, we learn that Todd Jay is the Jenny McCarthy of dog owners.</font></font></font></p>
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<p><font color="#000000"><font><font size="2">Is looking for Podcasts on the Apple de app dead? Probably.</font></font></font></p>
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<p>The Scientology discussion continues with Kirstie Alley and a Pretend Spaceship Navy wedding.</p>
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<p>Speaking of missing people - where is Richard Simmons?  And was Richard Simmons ever really in on the whole Richard Simmons thing?  And how long have their been “out” celebs?  And can ...
<div><font><span>The Roccos go to an Italian restaurant in time for MLK day, but Viva’s dream has all Italians looking the same.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>And Matt sustains a sexy injury.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>It’s ...
<p>Does Marky Mark get a pardon? How about Donny Mark?</p>
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<p>Todd eats magic berries, and it makes all his sugary foods taste sugarier.</p>
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<p>ISIS babies, you make our dreams come true.</p>
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<p>Michael Rice calls and has an aneurism over Matt’s Ludditism.</p>
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<p>And ...
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