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White Dad Problems: Episodes

<p>Updates in part 2!</p>
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<p>E-mail us at whitedadproblems@gmail.com</p>
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<p>Call the voicemail: DIP-POO-FUOM</p>
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<p>And follow us on Twitter @whitedadprobs</p>
<p><span>Hey everybody! James Cameron wants to sell you four more </span><i>Avatar</i><span> movies. BORING.</span></p>
<p><font><font><br /></font></font><font><font>D.M. learns what a “flesh wrist” is. </font></font></p>
<p><font><font><br /></font></font><font><font>Matt bought a Princess Leia ...
<p><font><span>The Dads discuss the Full House reboot, which is bound to be big news in Todd’s house. The new series will star Candace Cameron, who Matt and Dave thing should believe whatever she wants, but keep it the fuck to herself!! </span></font>
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<div><font><span>We’ve ...
<p><font size="2">Todd is on hiatus so he can save his marriage. His wife found out about his childhood gangland thievery. D.M. and Matt relive their own trespassing ways in high school. </font></p>
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<p><font size="2">D.M. fails at explaining how shoplifting is a ...
<p><font><font>D.M. decides to go to St. Louis without his expensive kids so he can eat fried ravioli and have his enormous country bear brothers drink him under the table.</font></font></p>
<p><font><font><br /></font></font><font><font>Matt’s kid goes from George Plimpton to George “The Animal” ...
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<p>The Sesame Street characters in Times Squares are taking over…Times Square.</p>

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<p>D.M. hates that Matt’s kid is awake.</p>

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<p>Todd ...
<p>What is the price of your dog’s life? DON’T PRETEND YOU DON’T HAVE ONE!!!!  LIAR!!!!</p>
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<p>And this week venture in to the heart of Todd’s South Side accent with a call to his Dad - the one and only Bob Jay!</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM ...
<p>Easter reports this week from Matt and Todd.  Matt goes way, way overboard and is not bathing in candy, and Todd get’s the heart breaking question from Ellie: “Is the Easter Bunny really my sweaty, Polish father?”</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and ...
<p><span>D.M. fell asleep. And his sperm is still intact. It’s still snowing in Syracuse.</span>
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<div>Todd gets an A on his yearly physical and Matt has a hard on for tornados. </div>
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<div>Todd and Matt can’t understand why Voxer is awesome. Then they ponder the future ...
<p>D.M. has officially surrender to the Nothing and bought a mini-van. RIP DM Engel’s Dignity: 1975-2015.</p>
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<p>Matt learns of the epic hero/villain known as “Nakekins Skywalker.”</p>
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<p>And Todd be lightin’ up mechs as an old man gamer!</p>
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<p><em>We’ve got voice mail ...
<div><font><span>Karma’s getting back at Todd by giving pneumonia to his daughter. The dads want to go to Indiana but now no one will serve them at a restaurant.</span></font></div>
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<div><font><span>Wal-Mart has killed small town America. No matter. Amazon ...
<p>At the Jay house, Todd’s daugher comes to the hard realization as to what “dog years” means - and begs something of the family pet she would never beg of her Dad.</p>
<p>As for Matt, he is now a regular at “MotherCluckers” and really wants either no agency or total agency over his gustatory ...
<p>On this episode we learn the future of Dave’s testicles, and it doesn’t look good.</p>
<p>Todd decides to make a last trip to the Jelly Belly factory.</p>
<p>Matt decides to make art from Rubik’s cubes, and the Dads want their damned bottomless onion rings.</p>
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<p>Then the Dads turn ...
<p>Dave and Kelly shop at odd hours of the night, and random packages arrive at all hours of the day.</p>
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<p>Dave can leave his house without being scene… could come in handy.</p>
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<p>Every seen a naked, masturbating, or pooping person in the city? These Dads have.</p>
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<p>And ...
<p>“Todd Gets a Physical” is one of our favorite updates ever - give a listen!</p>
<p>This week, Matt drinks beer in a grocery store and now wants to drink beer everywhere, like the cool dads (and alcoholics) do.</p>
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<p>D.M. brings his twin toddlers to live theatre - what could possibly go ...
<p>Todd has plans for an empty jelly bean factory in Wisconsin. On his way there, he’ll use his new iPhone holder that plugs into his useless CD slot.</p>
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<p>Matt and Todd are texting monsters.</p>
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<p>D.M. found <em>Life Itself </em>difficult to watch. This turns into D.M.’s Mike ...
<p>Todd tries to recall if we were as big of dicks in Jr. High s current Jr. High kids. (Spoiler: Yes.)  The Dads realize the world now has no outdoors, bikes are a thing of the past, and no one has to share porn.</p>
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<p>D.M. is walking down the hall and he feels something fall.  Then, many ...
<p>Matt’s late, probably doing a d*ck stand with a jar of beef au jus. Todd and D.M. discuss a former porn star who makes YouTube dollars showing toys to kids.</p>
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<p>D.M. has to eat an entire pizza to hide the evidence that he wanted two slices of pizza.</p>
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<p>Todd is considers purchasing ...
<p>Todd’s children have no table manners, and he can see that now because he has new glasses for the first time since Britney Spears was still a naughty schoolgirl.</p>
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<p>Matt goes broasted and is never going back.</p>
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<p>And D.M.’s wife has had it with humiliating him by shovelling ...
<p>Everyone at D.M.’s job thinks he has a cold…or throat cancer. Little do they know he’s moonlighting as bluesman Cole Slaw Walker. </p>
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<p>Todd’s getting drunk on Sam’s Club sangria. It’s Spanish. Or “Spanish”. </p>
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<p>Dig a hole in Brooklyn and you’ll just get dirty…and ...
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